Planning Ahead Before Starting a Family

the reality is I do think it is

important to plan yeah one if you are

financially struggling somebody got to

work both y'all got to work yeah so who

are gonna take care of the kids I got a

lot of the times in America people get

so fascinated with pregnancy they don't

really think about after baby like the

reality and that all the Jones is

addressed by your kids like $30 jeans my

point is to do the same thing with

weddings a lot of people just look at

the wedding they never really think

about marriage and about the work that

it takes you know to keep that marriage

going it's the same thing with having

kids so what I would do if you're not

financially stable I would just make

sure that you guys have serious

conversations yeah about the reality of

what's gonna happen when you have a baby

especially when you aren't really

financially stable daycare I mean is one

person gonna maybe pick up another job

and and or pick up two or three jobs and

we're switch on now on yes someone

during the day somebody watches them at

night yeah yeah but we talk about people

that's in a cup I want to talk to women

out there because a lot of women are get

in situations and that's why I always

stress to women to protect yourself yeah

it makes sure because of you know taking

care of that baby for yourself

yeah you you with somebody at least you

got somebody to play off of but in

reality especially in the times that we

live in most of the time is the woman

that has to take care of the kids and

it's like you really have to plant as a

single woman or a woman that you just

out on the town having a good time you

know make yourself responsible cuz you

get that kid you know you gotta take

care of it I feel sorry for my mom my

mom took care of me and my brother it

was hard in the project you know

sometimes I went hungry you know how

hard that is for her her child just the

chair and how does that exact how does

that affect you as a parent when you

have all of this stress on you of how am

I gonna make sure that I have a roof

over my head how am I gonna make sure

that my child doesn't go to bed hungry


there to you long-term and it's unfair

to the unborn child it's also insane

that today in order for any of us to get

a credit card or to even purchase a

house you have to qualify and the system

has it figured out to see what kind of

stable job you have what history you

have in order to get you to even qualify

to get to those places in life but in

real life you can have a bit anybody can

have a baby because of an accident or

because of one happy night out or you're

not being responsible that's the part

where we have to take charge of

ourselves and be the qualification and

the standard that we need to set in

order for this human bringing we're

bringing up is it sound terrible to say

that I think being a parent is an honor

and that absolutely I you I think that

it shouldn't be thrown around where you

just say that's like somebody saying I

want to be an Academy Award winner I

want to be an Academy Award winner I'm

gonna I have to put in the work to get

there I love you really yeah I want to

be a parent but I don't have the money

can't buy diapers don't have a house but

I want to be a parent cuz it's my dream

it's my dream but there are studies and

responsibilities you have to take in

order to be that I wanna be the owner of

Tesla well guess what I didn't invent

that bomb model of a car the reality is

there are some people having kids as

accessories yes there's not oh they're

not really thinking about wait a minute

once you are a mother you are a mother

forever and you have to take

responsibility over there for that top

floor dad yeah the thing is for me that

when what I say is I also know families

who are so stressed out I was one of

those girls who also was more stressed

out about how much money do you have to

make because I grew up poor so I'm

afraid of young poor yeah so I

constantly think and hang over my home

most overworked because of that yes yeah

because I think that a lot there are

people that also wait to have a certain

amount so that they they qualify to have

to be a parent and there's no qualified

amount that you should have I think that

there just needs to be a plan correct

and there needs to be a surrounding of

health and safety always and not broke

well it goes by what your safety

intervener 8 what tam said you know have

have a steady job have something just

and it's okay to wait a year or two

before you want to have a start a family

of yourself let's get the question can

you take care of yourself you live with

your mama your daddy and artists you

know we can try that because some people

actually live with their parents and

they do that to say would you I don't

think it's fair to sit there and shot

your family while you living under

somebody else's roof culturally or

whatever then that's fine I'm just

saying don't come in here broke thinking

oh but I just want babies and you didn't

think the rest of it right yeah we all

can life happens it happens and you're

gonna work it out you could say I did my

best to be responsible and things do