5 Questions to ask before getting in a serious relationship

so you just met someone and you really

like them but you're not sure if you

should start dating them yet well here

we want to give you five questions you

should ask them before you start dating

stay tuned hey guys in today's video

we're gonna be talking about a couple

questions that you should ask before

getting into a serious relationship but

before we do that I want to show you

guys kind of what we're gonna be doing

for the next entire month we want to do

a video for every single day for the

month of February and this month's theme

is dating and relationships and so we

wanted to start this off we know that

February is kind of a month that's

dedicated to romance and things like

that with Valentine's Day and so we

thought that we would share with you

guys a couple videos that a lot of you

guys have been asking let us know what

your questions are and we will do a

couple dedicated videos to some

suggested questions that you guys have

but let's go ahead and dive into the

video five things that you want to ask

before getting into a serious

relationship okay so the first question

is what do you consider your mission in

life to be it's important to know what

the person's mission and values are in

life and if they align with yours

because what is the end goal really are

you gonna be like way off on your

directional life and the other person is

as well so yeah there's a really great

passage and I think it's Alice in

Wonderland where the person comes to a

fork in the road and that crazy looking

cat is up in the tree and they ask the

cat pape which direction should I take

and the cat says it depends on where you

want to go and the person says well I

don't really know where I want to go and

so the cat says then it really doesn't

matter which direction you take and I

think that's such a great example

illustration of you need to know what

you're hoping to get out of the

relationship you need to know what's

your purpose what's your mission in life

because if you don't know that then

honestly it doesn't matter who you date

anybody because you have no clue yet so

find out your mission ask the other

question what theirs is

do they align question number 2 to ask

is what is one of your greatest failures

in the past and what do you learn from

it I like this question a lot because it

assumes a couple things it assumes

number one that may have failed in the

past and if this person can't say you

know what there's no real thing that

comes to mind that's that's an issue

that's a red flag in my mind why don't

they feel like they've ever made a

mistake in the past because I guarantee

you they're not perfect so what is it

that they're missing are they just naive

are they in denial what is the question

there but I think you can learn a lot

from finding out about their failures

yeah and is a person open to growth and

development in their life if they're

just like oh I'm perfect and I'm this

type of person then that's kind of a red

flag too are they open to growing and

learning more yeah I think it's really

interesting to hear from the person

where they felt like they've failed in

the past before you actually got to

learn a lot about that person you get to

learn about their hopes and their dreams

their aspirations but then you also get

to learn about what happens to them when

they fail under pressure because in your

relationship at some point in time

they're gonna go through a failure and

it's important to know how they've

approached it in the past and hold me

well how do you want to approach it in

the future as well number three is what

are you looking to get out of this

relationship what is the end goal or

purpose of the relationship if it's just

to kind of date around have fun and

you're for that person and your goal is

to eventually find a marriage partner

then that might be an issue yeah

something that Emily and I talked a lot

about it was what was the points of us

dating what was the points of our

relationship and we were on the same

page about this is that we wanted to

know is this the person that you know

God has planned for me to be with

because we believe as Christians that

God has a plan God has a purpose for our

life and you know being married is a

great thing it's fun and it's a cool

thing but one of the main purposes for

us of marriage is to help us to serve

the world in a better way to help us

accomplish more and to be able to share

God's love in a better way and so for us

knowing that this was something that we

shared actually helped us move forward

in our relationship with a lot of

security and say hey you know what I

think this is probably going to be a

good thing for us question number four

is how has your relationship with God

changed in the past five years this is a

question that I really like to ask

because it assumes that they are in a

relationship with God and that

relationship is growing so one thing

that I'd caution you is hey if their

relationship with God has not changed in

the last five years then really what is

God doing in their life unless God is

already saying you know they're perfect

they've done everything right God is

trying to work in their heart God is

trying to change their lives in some way

shape or form and if they're aware of

that or not that might tell you

something yeah are they in a stage in

their relationship with God they've been

lukewarm for five years and they're not

looking for growth and getting closer to

God than that is a red flag yeah and it

doesn't mean that the last five years of

the relationship with God has to be

absolutely perfect because you know

there's growth there's failures there's

areas where we want to grow and learn

one thing that I actually really

appreciated with how Emily was sharing

her story with me she's actually saying

you know what in the last couple of

years I've actually strayed away from

God and I really kind of made a couple

mistakes but I really feel like God has

called me back to him and I've been

doing this for a couple months now this

is something that I'm really wanting to

take seriously for me I admired that

about her that she was willing to own up

to mistakes and that she was really

saying you know what this is how I want

to move forward and you know in the next

couple of years or months or just

indefinitely the future to come number

five that you should ask your potential

significant other is who in your life

has impacted you the most and in what

way I really like this question because

it helps you gain a lot of insights and

you know just kind of a knowledge about

that person's background and kind of

where they come from and some of the

stories that mean a lot to them in their

life one of the stories that Emily

shared with me on our very first date

when we're speed-dating was actually the

story of her older brother Brandon Emily

lost her brother Brandon how many years

ago about 13 years ago and he asked me

about him and how he has impacted my

life in a spiritual way and really was

kind of someone I looked up to and held

value similar values with yeah you were

just you were young you were like still

in junior high or high school around

that age

and she shared the story of finding out

that her brother had died and kind of

what that did for her relationship with

God and how that was a challenging

moment and kind of what she learned

about that so it was a really good way

for me to get insight into kind of her

history to her past and to also be able

to meet someone even though not

face-to-face so learn about this person

who done who's done so much for her and

it gives me kind of a greater

appreciation for who she is today well

there you go those are five questions

that we think you should consider asking

before you start dating a significant

other we'd be interested in hearing what

you guys have to say and what questions

would you encourage other people to ask

before they get into a serious

relationship let us know in the comments

section below just as a reminder before

you go we are doing an entire series

this month on dating and relationships

so if there's any questions or subjects

that you want us to talk about make sure

you let us know in the comment section

below until next time where that

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