When To Have Sex With Him | Dating Advice for Women by Mat Boggs

hey this is mat Boggs and today we're

taking on an important topic in

relationships which is the question when

is the right time to have sex now I'm

gonna give you the answer to this and

I'm assuming that you're an adult in a

consensual relationship and I want you

to know the answer I'm going to give you

is controversial

some of you will like this answer some

of you will not like this answer chances

are I will get blowback for creating

this video but in my coaching programs

women ask this all the time the answer I

give them has worked for hundreds and

hundreds and hundreds of women helping

them create the relationship they want

and so I wanted to share it with you

check it out now know this the purpose

of this video in this channel is really

to serve you in increasing love in the

world one heart at a time and helping

you have that deep amazing relationship

you want so if that matters to you click

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week alright when to have sex the first

step in understanding that answer is to

understand two dynamics in the

relationship number one there is a

sexual pace to your relationship and the

sexual pace is determined by how

physical you're getting with one another

starting with a hug or holding hands

moving to a kiss

moving to getting more physical more

intimate ultimately having sex making

love with one another the other dynamic

in a relationship is the emotional pace

of the relationship moving from just

being acquaintances with one another to

saying oh I want to date this person too

I want to be committed to this person to

I want to marry this person the

emotional pace of the relationship is

set by the level of commitment in the

relationship here's the key you never

want to let the sexual pace get out in

front of the emotional pace because when

you do that the relationship gets off

balance or it can because most people

will end up becoming

awkward when the sexual paste goes way

out in front in other words you sleep

together before you even know whether or

not you like each other it can throw the

relationship off balance and many of us

have had an experience where you let you

get physical too fast too soon and then

everybody gets awkward and it gets weird

yeah we're on the same page I mean I

don't I'm not looking for a relationship

right now either let's just say that I

just whatever you want I can do you know

I'd rather just like simple not like

other girls or anything unless you

really doesn't always happen but it can

happen and here's the key for you to

understand as a woman the sexual pace

and the emotional pace are completely

independent for men they are not

connected in other words having sex for

a man does not pull him along the

emotional scale it does not move his

emotional feelings forward they're

completely disconnected based on how our

brains are wired up your brain is wired

up very differently now you mean you

might be the one in a thousand where you

don't actually feel anything when you

have sex but most women when they have

sex they means they also feel something

emotionally it pulls you forward so the

key here is to let the emotional pace

drive the sexual pace and here's the

criteria consider what do you want for

yourself when it comes to a relationship

do you want to be married do you want

that level of commitment do you want to

be in a committed relationship or maybe

you're on the spectrum where you're in a

phase of your life where you're like

Matt I just want a warm body and a sexy

smile like that's it like I'm totally

down to just have fun and play right now

you are the highest authority of what

you would love and when you feel ready

to make love with a man you get to

decide that but decide that in advance

and only when the sexual pace of the

relationship meets the criteria you have

decided upon that's when you sleep with

him so some women go through my coaching

program they decide they want to wait

till they get married

other women are on the other end of the

spectrum they just want to have fun and

play and many women fall in the category

of no I want a committed relationship

before I'm willing to be intimate with

well here's the key no this men do not

fall in love by first having sex with

you so if what you're saying is you want

that committed relationship then that

means holding off on sex until you're in

a committed relationship with your man

now I know that might be hard I know

that both of you are hot-blooded and

want to get together but it's worth it

and don't buy into the fear that says if

you don't have sex with him early on he

is going to run off because it's true

the right man will wait until you're

ready and here's the good news is that

when he waits when you do finally reach

the point at which the relationship has

met the emotional pace that you want

that commitment level you want and you

to decide to be intimate with one

another my father always used to say sex

is really the celebration of the

intimacy in the commitment you've

already created with one another sex is

that celebration so when you finally do

become intimate a couple great dynamics

are created number one you've set a

beautiful standard for you being a high

value woman and what you want and when

he meets that standard now he feels

special and selected because he's

achieved something other men haven't

achieved so easily and he knows that he

is your man and sharing something

beautiful with you that's special just

between the two of you now I know what

some of you are thinking watching this

video you're thinking oh crap Matt I've

already slept with him we're not in a

committed relationship what do I do now

I want you to know that if you've

already slept with him it doesn't mean

that the relationship is going to go

sideways there's still hope for the

relationship the important thing to know

is that sleeping with him doesn't mean

that he's emotionally committed you want

to keep those two ideas separate in your

mind and you want to consider where is

he on the emotional scale of this

relationship and let him lead the

emotional pace you leave the sexual pace

let him leave the emotional pace and

you'll wind up in a really good spot the

other thought that comes up often is

this one will Matt what about all those

people who sleep together on the first

date and then they get married and it

works out yes that happens occasionally

as well just like occasionally there are

people who can eat junk food all day and

still stay ripped it's an anomaly right

it can happen but it doesn't happen for

us normal people right what I'm giving

you is a formula that you can use that

will set you up for success so keep the

emotional pace leading the relationship

and let sex be the celebration of the

emotional connection you've already

built and it will set you up for success

creating something amazing and special

with your man what I would love to hear

from you is when do you believe is the

right time to have sex go ahead and post

that in the comments section below it'll

be a great conversation thanks so much

for watching I'll see you soon