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Second Baby: What I’m Doing Differently | Susan Yara

hi guys welcome back to my channel this

is I love Simone my little baby girl and

today I'm gonna do a video on what I'm

doing different as a second time mom

alright so it looks like she's gonna be

awake through this video I just fed her

and I thought she was gonna be sleeping

but she's wide awake that's actually

something that's been different is she's

a awake during the day baby that needs

to be held to sleep but it sleeps

decently at night decently whereas

Nakash was the other way around so

that's kind of funny so she's gonna

probably be making some noises and stuff

I might have to pick her up a couple

times first thing that I'm doing

differently this time around is I am

actually taking a lot more time like I

keep calling it a maternity leave but

that's not something you really get when

you run your own business I'm like

jokingly calling it a maternity leave

but I am actually trying to take more

time to not just like heal and

everything cuz you know what we spend

some we spend literally like ten months

making a baby and then giving birth to

that baby we actually need to heal his

mom's so it's like one of those things

like we actually need that time to heal

to catch up on sleep or at least like

get used to not sleeping is really what

it is and like get our bearings and

stuff and then to like bond with our

baby and when I say bond with the baby

it's like savoring that moment I wish I

would like taking that time and like

really savored the moment with my first

child a lot more I was more I spent most

of the time like being freaked out I

think and like not knowing what I was

doing and stuff but also just kind of

like you know getting to know them and

everything you can't really put them on

a schedule which is why she's on in this

video with me right now and why she's

awake even though I thought she was

gonna be asleep it's like they're

unpredictable they need a lot of care

and attention and you have to kind of

like get to know them and stuff so you

know they're like a new person in your

life it's like getting a whole new

roommate and that's something that I

really learned that first time around is

like you have to get to know them

they're a whole new person in your life

and you have to like learn you know what

it is that like works with you and you

know like what your relationship is and

stuff besides like the obvious like mom

and baby honestly it's not even until

like six to eight weeks maybe even later

where you can start to really put them

on a schedule

and even at that they're like

unpredictable because you don't know if

they're gonna like suddenly like get

sick or if they're going to not

like you know if you put them on formula

they might not like the formula it might

not agree with them and their stomachs

or you know there's just so many things

that can happen and so I'm really trying

to take a couple of months and you know

like focus on my time with her and not

be so stressed out about like having to

hurry to get back into work I know I'm

shooting this video and everything but

I'm just like slowly starting to do this

stuff slowly starting to answer emails

and everything and that's definitely

something I'm doing differently number

two is I hopped right into Co sleeping I

am Co sleeping with her right now I

think back on my first baby and I was

really again I was so freaked out like

that's like the theme of like the first

time around was that I was just freaked

out and didn't know what I was doing and

I wouldn't say I know exactly what I'm

doing I feel like because babies are all

different you don't always know what

you're doing exactly but you have a

better idea of what to expect and one

mistake that I feel like I personally

made this is you know everyone's

different every one parents differently

I try to get my child on a schedule and

get him sleeping in his own bassinet

really early on like first week in and I

kind of found that that was like

impossible you know it was like he never

would sleep and I kept asking people

like how do you do baby to sleep and

stuff and I think a lot of people don't

admit that they end up Co sleeping even

if it's like midway through the night

they end up bringing the baby to the bed

with them and stuff so instead of doing

it like a half assed kind of way like

just kind of doing it but being like

really groggy and not being like very

smart about it or safe about it I

decided this time around I was just

gonna go straight into Co sleeping that

way I would do it in a more safe

intentional manner I'm about six weeks

out while right now while I'm shooting

this video and I have found that it's

just been so much easier I already kind

of know what she's like at night she

sleeps next to me so there's like all

these like safeco sleeping roles and

stuff you guys can look at them online

I'll probably even leave a link to

something so I sleep with her next to me

and I sleep on my side that way I can't

roll over on her I actually don't have

my husband sleeping in my room at all

he's been sleeping with our toddler and

that's partially to keep our toddler

from coming into our bed and then

it being unsafe suddenly for the baby to

be in our bed I just feed her and I feed

her in a very lazy way so it's like you

know I just kind of like lay there with

her and I sideboob feed her you know

it's actually the easiest way to do it

and it's so much better than being like

you know having to get up and then

trying to sit there and feed your baby

and everything at least for me this has

been so much easier and I feel like I am

like getting just enough sleep whereas

the first time around I felt like I

didn't sleep whatsoever you know I still

get up to have to like change her diaper

she still does a little bit of like a

poop she gets puppies at night and stuff

like that so you definitely have to

change the diaper but I just feel like

this has been such an easier transition

for me because I just went right into

the co-sleeping next thing that I'm

doing differently or that I did

differently is that I was quicker to

introduce a bottle and formula I'm not

saying this is the way everyone should

go but I will say I did not want to

introduce formula in the beginning when

I had my first baby I was like no I have

to breastfeed and all this kind of stuff

my baby was born very thin like the

first day it seemed like my milk was

coming in really fast and then suddenly

it wasn't and she was really hungry and

so in the hospital I went ahead and I

introduced some formula while we were in

the hospital and that was just to make

sure she gained some weight when the

nurses was really nervous she had dipped

under six pounds and she was born at 6.1

pounds so she was like dipping a lot

under and you know like your babies lose

a lot of weight when they first come out

because they you can like expect for

them to lose like 10 up to 10 ounces or

something like that and that's really

normal but she was like drastically

losing that weight like she lost a lot

of that way in the first night and it

was partially because she was a

c-section baby so she gets pumped with a

lot of the stuff I get pumped from like

the IV and everything and she was so

small and she was hungry and I wasn't

like you know really able to give her

much so we started to give her formula

we haven't given her formula lately

because now I'm producing enough milk

for her and she's gaining a lot of

weight actually she's like three pounds

over what she was when she when she was

born which is really good she's gaining

weight fast but you know I think it's

one of those things like don't be afraid

to introduce formula I was happy that I

did it a lot of people like even my

doctor like walked in he was like you're

your formula thought you were gonna

breastfeed it's like ya give a girl a

break she's like I can't why can't I do

a little mix of it while I'm trying to

get my milk in and stuff it really

helped me to not feel stressed out about

my milk coming in because I knew I could

feed her with formula but the other

thing about that is I have already

introduced a bottle to her and I

introduced a bottle to her obviously in

the hospital she caught a bottle with

the formula but when we came home even

with just breast milk I would take like

a little bit like I use my Hakka

okay all right let's see let's see

unhappy happy unhappy well she might get

unhappy guys so just be aware of that

um anyway you know when I'm like feeling

like engorged or something like that

especially in the very beginning I would

use my Hakka and I would actually save

like that little ounce or something of

milk

I wasn't like purely pumping because you

know I didn't want to pump that early

we're gonna pass her off to aunty Anna

aunty Anna I love went and took a little

walk with auntie Anna anyway but one of

the things that I really and I'm glad

that I didn't do it as early with Nakash

I probably introduced a bottle maybe a

month after having him but this time

around I introduced a bottle much

quicker so I would just you know it

wasn't actually like pumping I only just

started pumping recently and even at

that I'm only pumping like after I feed

her if I feel like she passed out and I

still had some milk or something then

I'll pump I'm not like pumping to truly

like save any of my milk yet it's just I

have like just a little bit like an

extra bottle in the refrigerator or

something that in case I want my husband

to feed her but introducing

the bottle was a really big deal for me

even if it was just like a little like a

small ounce from the hakka

it just gives you that freedom knowing

that you have introduced a bottle it was

one of the things that gave me a lot of

anxiety the first time around was like

sitting on the sofa with my baby

thinking like I'll never be able to

leave without him because I have to feed

him I'm like the only person that can

feed him that gave me so much anxiety

and this time around it's been very

liberating to know that I can just

introduce a bottle it's not gonna hurt

her I actually have heard from several

people now from doctors like

pediatricians and stuff that nipple

confusion isn't a real thing there might

be nipple preference right like your

baby might prefer to go to your boob or

might prefer a bottle and that's a

little bit of a different thing but

there's no such thing as like nipple

confusion per se it's like you just got

to get them used to transferring back

and forth to your boob or between your

boob and between your nipple or just one

or the other you know I just find it's

so much easier if you introduce that

bottle earlier in my opinion that's been

my experience with two babies now

because now I can go do things that

actually leads into the next thing and

that's I've left her alone with somebody

not alone by herself but like alone with

somebody else to watch her while I went

and did something and that's kind of

been more out of necessity the first

time I rode with Nakash I was like too

nervous to leave him you know with

somebody else and go do something so it

took me like three months or something

at that to like not have him with me at

old times and it was actually even

harder to go do that like go on my first

like video shoot without him it felt

very like sad to me whereas this time

around kind of out a necessity we're

trying to find houses cuz we sold this

house we had to go to like some open

houses on a Sunday so my mother-in-law

came over I'd luckily had pumped a

little bit of milk in you I also had a

box of formula if she needed to use it

and I went and spent two hours out with

my husband trying to find a house which

we haven't done yet unfortunately but I

had to leave and I've done that sooner

now and I've actually kind of like done

that a few times now leaving Isla with

our nanny for an hour or so while I go

and pick up like my son from preschool

or even go get lunch with him do things

like that because that's kind of what

has to be done this time around another

thing that I'm doing a little

differently this time around is I didn't

I'm not worried about a schedule I'm

starting to kind of work into a schedule

but the first six weeks I definitely did

not care about a schedule what so ever

because again it was all this like

unnecessary in my opinion again these

are all like my personal things everyone

does things differently I felt a lot of

anxiety the first time I had a baby and

a lot of it was like putting these

unnecessary rules on myself and I think

that's what I think overall what I'm

trying to do differently this time

around and so having a schedule I was

like trying to like

my baby every two to three hours and

then put him down to sleep keep him

awake for a little bit of time and stuff

it just didn't work that way you know

the first six weeks especially they're

just so unpredictable and Nakash ended

up wanting to cluster feet all the time

she cluster feet fed a lot the first few

weeks as well and just being kind of

like flexible like that like hey you

know what we're not gonna create a

schedule I'm not gonna put stress on

myself and we're just gonna do things

however this goes and that's that's just

how it's gonna go now only recently I

started to kind of implement a little

bit of a schedule I didn't even get one

of those apps like the first time around

I was like I on an app like documenting

like every time nikasha

ate and which boob it was and what what

time it was what time did he poop what

time did he go to sleep how long did he

sleep this time around I I'm going to

eventually do that because I want to get

her on a schedule but I'm gonna wait you

know until I'm ready for that and that

might be it like the three-month mark to

be completely honest all right this

one's gonna be it's gonna sound

controversial but I'm also letting her

cry a little bit more and when I say cry

a little bit I mean like I mean like

maybe a minute you know the first time

around

any time I heard like a little peep out

of my baby I was like oh my god I don't

want him to cry oh god he can't cry like

it would stress me out to no end to hear

him cry and this time around there's

again a lot of necessity comes when you

have a toddler and you have to like get

up sometimes no matter what and like

tend to your toddler while you put your

baby down and everything but I'm finding

that I'm a little bit more relaxed about

it if I need to go use the restroom and

she's not happy about it it's okay I can

let her cry for like a minute while I go

pee sometimes you need to do things like

that if I need a glow like warm up some

food really quick because I haven't

eaten like all day or something I'm

gonna do that I'm gonna go warm up some

food she might cry for a minute or so

and that's totally okay and that also

goes back to I'm trying not to put this

unnecessary stress on myself and that's

been so much more helpful another thing

and I think a lot of people do this in

the first time around but the first time

around I was terrible about it this time

I have streamlined the baby products the

first time around I bought way too much

stuff way too much stuff and I was

gifted a bunch of stuff I didn't have a

baby shower this time I got a little

baby sprinkle but you know I didn't have

a registry or anything that I wanted

people to like potentially get for me

instead I asked for nothing

you know we've gotten some little gifts

here and there you know like clothing

and that kind of thing but this time

around I knew exactly the stuff I wanted

to get and I made sure to only get that

stuff or some of it I had saved you know

like the bouncer the snuggle me that

kind of stuff I had saved from the first

time around and I just didn't buy that

much stuff and it feels so much better

speaking of like products and everything

that comes down to even like like her

skin care like her all her beauty

products and stuff like that like I

bought a bunch of stuff like that for

Anna Kosh the first time around I had

like all these different types of like

shampoos and lotions and balms and oils

and just lots of stuff and I don't know

why I had so much stuff for him and what

it really comes down to as your baby

doesn't need much a fragrance free

cleanser which acts as your shampoo and

body cleanser I'm actually using one

right now by Sarah V it's Sarah V baby

and it's really gentle it's a no tears

formulation and she's totally fine with

that and I just make sure that I had

this like sponge slash brush thing and I

make sure I brush her head every single

night when I give her a bath that way

she doesn't get cradle cap and she

hasn't so far which is awesome because

Nakash got it really bad the first time

around and that was one thing that I

learned is if you start to brush their

heads early on when you give them their

baths and they don't get the cradle cap

and then a simple fragrance free lotion

that's kind of all you really need and I

put that on her after her bath and

that's it I don't even put a lot I just

like do a little pump go like this I

mean they're so small you barely need

any and you like put it on them I have a

baby bomb and a baby oil that was gifted

to me and I you know keep it next to all

her stuff in case I want to like you

know give her a little like little baby

rubdown which I do every once in a while

I'll give her like a little belly rub if

it feels like her belly is a little bit

hard and stuff to help her you know like

relax and stuff but you know you don't

really need to do that kind of stuff

other like skin care products or like

like products that like that that I have

for her are like a diaper rash but paste

that I definitely have I use that all

the time and that's to prevent the

diaper rash and then I you know I've

been using this since Nakash as well it

the honest company's organic BOM and

that's just because it's a really simple

straightforward bomb that I also use in

her diaper area in case you know like if

she's not necessarily getting a rash yet

I put that on there that way she just

has something that keeps everything you

know from getting damp too much and

stuff so those are the only really

products that I think a baby needs they

don't need a smell nice they smell

wonderful it's like the scent of a baby

should be bottled if you could puddle it

I think people would actually buy it

it's amazing so you don't need a

fragrance your baby or you know like do

a bunch of stuff for them they just they

they're ready to go last I am much more

appreciative of my husband this time

around there's something about that

first baby where you want to like

strangle your husband I know there are

some people out there who have great

relationships with their husbands and

their husbands were so hands-on i I was

like that wasn't me I didn't feel that

way at all the first time around my

husband I know that he tried really hard

to be helpful the first time around but

I think he just didn't know how to be

helpful and I was also so type A and so

controlling about the situation that you

know I don't think he was able to really

be as helpful whereas this time around

again it's a necessity thing he is so

much more helpful because he basically

takes on our child

he walks our dog every night because I

just can't really do it because I'm with

the baby at this point maybe I'll be

able to do it and like wear her or

something like that while I'm walking

the dog but he takes on a lot you know

like if I'm you know we do a lot of

switch off like if I'm spending time

with my son he's spending time with the

baby and vice versa but he's mostly

spent a lot of time with our toddler

especially at night time and he's really

had to take that on and I'm very

appreciative of it and I've also noticed

that he's trying to cook more like he's

moved into like cooking breakfast and

stuff he makes me breakfast without

asking on the weekends which is really

really helpful of him and not something

that my old husband would've done years

ago because he didn't even know how to

cook he barely knew how to toast

something so like bright literally into

a toaster so this is you know these are

big things of him so these are the

things I'm doing differently the second

time around and I think the overall

theme is I'm trying not to be such a

stress case about it like just go with

the flow chill things happen the way

they're supposed to when you're

mom so hopefully that's the tone that

you guys got from me if you have

anything to add to that tell me the

comments below by me on Instagram I'm at

Susan you're on and I'll talk to you

guys soon bye

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