How to start a conversation with someone if you feel socially awkward

all right how do you start a

conversation if you feel socially

awkward first of all we all feel

socially awkward at one time or another

so you're not alone

realize this and if you think you're the

only one that has this problem then it

just seems to make it worse so you're in

really good company so just know that

and it does make things easier because

no one feels comfortable walking into a

situation where you don't know people or

you want to get to know someone and you

don't know how to approach them so this

is what I would do whatever it is that

you have in common with this person you

have something in common

you either work together go to school

together you know the same people

whatever it is just approach them and

talk about the people you know work

school like I said um oh I hear you like

sudden such kind of music I do to

someone so told me that well have you

gotten this new boat

somebody said whatever you can learn

about the person so that you can find

out their interests their passions that

will help a lot and then and this is the

biggest thing listen really really

listen because people will tell you oh

you're so quiet

you don't talk enough you don't talk

they don't really want you to talk they

want to talk and they want you to listen

everyone loves to talk and they love to

talk about themselves anyway most people

so do that talk about them ask them

questions about themselves and then not

like an interview not going on and on

and on saying what do you do where'd you

go to school like like you're

interviewing somebody no it should be

natural but just ask a question really

listen to the response then make a point

like oh you like old movies I

saw and then go on Co me

oh you grew up in such-and-such

neighborhood do you know cuz y'all live

in a big small town because they lived

about two blocks from where you grew up

so what I mean is really really listen

pay attention because when you do that

then you don't worry so much about how

you look how you're coming across you're

paying attention to what they're saying

and that's what you need to do and then

the next time you talk to them you'll

have something to talk about because you

weren't listening and there's always a

problem with eye contact especially with

new people if you're shy I've noticed

that with the shy people that they have

trouble with eye contact and everyone

does especially in long conversation so

if you have trouble looking at their

eyes look at their eyebrows and then

when you feel more comfortable with this

person then you can look into their eyes

and you might be saying well I don't

have anything in common with someone I

don't know so say you're at a party and

you don't know somebody or you're at a

bar who knows and you don't know

somebody and you really want to meet

them just walk up and say something

about the place like gosh did you see

that wallpaper did they change that or I

noticed that there were lines in front

and I've never seen that here I come

here all the time see what I mean so

even though you don't know this person

you have something in common because

you've come to the same place it doesn't

have to be awkward and even if it is

just a little bit it's okay and the

biggest thing put your full self out


don't try to be who you think he she

wants you to be don't do it because six

months from now they're gonna realize

okay I wasn't really getting to know you

I was getting to know the image of you

so might as well put out there right now

they don't like it so what there are

gonna be people that don't like you for

irrational reasons so be yourself now

weed them out they don't like you great

you haven't wasted much time and don't

worry about what people think I know

that is huge and it's not so easy but as

you get older and you just start not

caring like okay I am Who I am it's

freeing I promise it is freeing so to

start now stop worrying about why people

think and put yourself out there