start

How to start a conversation with someone new

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hey today's video is on how to engage

and connect with others and also when to

know when to stop trying to connect with

someone else and be able to pull back so

you still feel like you are sociable and

not forcing yourself on someone else so

this video is going to be extremely

important for those of you who are

wanting to improve your social skills

and wanting to improve your chances of

either asking someone out or being able

to start a conversation with someone so

that they actually become interested in

you and want to ask you out so it's a

great way for you to build connections

with a lot more people and to have

better shots at getting the people that

you want to be in your life

so I'm Liz Glorioso and I help powerful

active women attract and date the men

that they want to so right now I'm going

to give you the different steps on how

to start engaging with people I'm going

to give you the signs of the go ahead

and the signs of the head cut back out

and stop and then also give you a few

extra little tid bits along with this so

that you could be the most successful

and also as you're going out and

practicing these techniques how to

continue getting better and better at

them okay so the first thing is is that

most everyone if you are in close

proximity to them you can you can start

a conversation with them and the way

that I recommend starting a conversation

if you have eye contact with someone the

easiest thing is to smile and say hi if

they have their head down and they're

looking at something you use you're

right next to them it's easy to say hi

and that will is your first point right

there obviously if someone you don't

looks at you and says hi back you have

to clear go ahead to continue if they

say hi but they don't look at you then

you don't have the clear go ahead to

keep going so you're gonna want to stop

at that point okay so if they said hi

it's time to keep going then great so if

they're gone back to looking at what

they're doing

the next step that I recommend is

actually a story some people will go

into a question I like to say a story to

connect the two of you to the present

moment and that could be anything that

has to do with what's going on right now

so for example if I'm by an elevator I

see someone come up to me and I say hi

wanting to start a conversation wanting

to connect with this person the thing I

might comment on is the elevator the

elevator is moving rather fast today or

it's moving rather slow it's stopping at

every level other every level whatever I

can think of to kind of continue the

thing and from there I can get the sense

of whether or not this person is willing

to engage with me or not or if they're

just you know that nice city of a

high-back so from that point if they

obviously if they look up and comment

back with you oh really that's

interesting you know or they might look

up and go like hmm not a big deal you

know then it's it's kind of your chance

to gauge where it's going from there so

if your story does not get that much

interest sometimes it's best to back out

at that point or sometimes you could be

like well that was kind of a dumb

question or kind of a dumb story because

not all the time can you think of all

the greatest things ever you're just

getting used to this right so sometimes

it's best for you to you can follow up

with a question if you feel like it like

so how are you doing today you know

something along those lines and from

that question you will get an answer

either way so if they give you the

answer of like you know one of those

good you know fine great you know those

kinds of answers you know you're done

yeah at that point you're done you say

awesome

okay if they actually give you a little

extra from that question and when they

weren't really showing interest from

your story then then you can kind of

continue on and go from the conversation

so let's say that the person does give

you some interest back those are

obviously the easiest ones to continue

to connect with and so when you continue

to connect with that person they're

obviously already engaged

and you know anything that I tell you is

not going to work best other than your

feeling of what feels good for a

conversation right so that's what you

want to do from there if after the time

that you've asked the question and they

say you know great or good or they give

you a little bit more to go with the

next thing you can do is to tell a story

about yourself

I'm going to go do bla bla bla bla bla

I'm excited about bla bla bla because a

lot of times when you ask the question

to someone and they give you a little

like more answer it's because they don't

know you yet and they don't really know

if they can trust being vulnerable to

you so the way for you to kind of undo

their unborn ability is to is to be

vulnerable yourself and be excited and

happy about what's going on in your life

and then from that point if they really

don't give you any feedback if they're

like hmm

you know like cool you're dying and if

they do give me some feedback and you're

able to continue the conversation then

you can ask them a question about

themselves see if they will open up

anymore if they do great if they don't

okay we're done so there's a couple

different places that you can back out

and it kind of depends on your comfort

level so obviously the first one if no

one being ages with you you know you

back out that that's not one you ever

want to force the second one is after

you've told a story if they've either

given some engagement or or not you know

that's the other place that you come

back out the third place is asking them

a question about themselves obviously if

they don't answer that that's an obvious

no time to back out if they give you a

short answer that's okay but although it

kind of depends on how you feel so you

might want to be as back out that plan

if you have nothing really good to say

but if you can give a story about

yourself that shows a little bit of

vulnerability and they pique their

interest then it's okay to keep going

and ask them a question about themselves

if they see no interest in the share

that you gave about yourself then you're

done

if they do show interest in the share

about yourself then it's okay to ask

them another question to continue the

conversation from going so I hope you

were able to catch on with all the

little steps in into

knows that that I gave you here and what

other very important thing that I wanted

to let you know is that when you were

practicing connecting with people and

you're practicing engaging with people I

recommend that you give the same amount

of effort to every single person that

you're attempting to have a connection

with and the reason why I suggest this

is because it's for practice and you

want to be it wants to be as natural and

as normal as possible one of the things

that I find for myself sometimes is when

I see someone attractive or someone

unlike who they're kind of good-looking

I would really actually like to connect

more I find myself end up forcing the

conversation a little bit more and it

gives the little they'll push back a

little bit more in the cut down a little

bit more so I really recommend that you

you hold it the same amount for every

type of person because then they can see

that you're going to be friendly and

open and vulnerable with anyone just

like you are with them and it makes them

feel a little bit more likely to open up

and connect with you if they feel like

oh she's into me she really wants to get

to know me like there's that forcing

energy and feeling that's when they tend

to back off and tend to want to stay

away so I hope this video helps you out

I hope it helps you with your connecting

and with engaging with other people

because you want to be able to do this

on a regular basis with many lots of

people most of your engagements and

connections will not go anywhere they

will just be you know fun conversations

that make you feel really good or

they'll be like one for your like what

just happened there but either way

they're going to be experiment and

they're going to help you get better at

communicating and engaging with others

some of the very few of these will turn

into friendships

some of them will turn into business

opportunities and they're very few

select ones which will turn into

romantic relationships for you so but if

you don't try you never know what you're

going to be able to get out of them and

the better that you are at engaging and

connecting with people the more likely

you are to have the

type of people that you want into your

life and to be able to attract other

people to you as well so I would love

for you to comment on this video I'd

love you to tell me where do you like to

start our conversations with people

leave a comment leave a like share this

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