How to start a conversation with someone if you are shy

I think if you're shy you always feel

judged she always feel like people are

looking at you like you're different

honestly they're not because they're

thinking of themselves they really are

you're not on their radar and they're

not looking for you to screw up or

anything like that but if you're really

self-conscious and it's hard to make

conversation and you don't feel like

you're saying the right thing or enough

then you judge yourself harshly but

believe me other people aren't alright

now you want to know how to start a

conversation the best way are these

words and that is so what do you think

of and then you fill in the blank so

what do you think of a boss a teacher

sports team uh some kind of music you

see what I mean you could go anywhere

with that question and it's a great

question because it gets people talking

and then you ask that question and

they're gonna go on and on lightly and

then listen to what they say and then

ask another question about what they

just said so it's more about listening

and not talking and I know if you're shy

people always say talk can't you say

something or guys are so quiet but they

don't want you to try to come up with

something witty that's not what they're

looking for what they want is for you to

ask the right questions so that they can

be talking so they can talk about their

favorite subject and that is themselves

so that's the key right there get people

talking about themselves and I've said

this a hundred times before but I really

mean it if you do that and you really

listen and you ask questions about what

they just said they're gonna think you

are the greatest conversationalist that

ever walked the planet I'm not kidding

because people think they want you to

just talk talk talk and say something

really witty just make everyone laugh

and that's not how it is not at all

just being who you are really being a

really great listener and you're gonna

have lots of friends you really are and

just try as hard as you can't not to be

an interrogator like question question

question but just if you ask the right

ones and you'll get that over time just

to get them talking you know they're

concerned about something whatever it is

ask him about that you know they're

having a problem with something so how's

that going and they're being like oh I'm

so glad you asked well and then they're

gonna fill you in and then you might

make a suggestion or you might say okay

yeah I had that same problem or similar

here's what I did you see what I mean

and you go in like that and it'll be

easy I guess the biggest thing is don't

put pressure on yourself to say

something witty or to come up with some

kind of sparkling conversation because

you know what that never works