When to start having sex relationship
When To Have Sex With Him | Dating Advice for Women by Mat Boggs
hey this is mat Boggs and today we're
taking on an important topic in
relationships which is the question when
is the right time to have sex now I'm
gonna give you the answer to this and
I'm assuming that you're an adult in a
consensual relationship and I want you
to know the answer I'm going to give you
is controversial
some of you will like this answer some
of you will not like this answer chances
are I will get blowback for creating
this video but in my coaching programs
women ask this all the time the answer I
give them has worked for hundreds and
hundreds and hundreds of women helping
them create the relationship they want
and so I wanted to share it with you
check it out now know this the purpose
of this video in this channel is really
to serve you in increasing love in the
world one heart at a time and helping
you have that deep amazing relationship
you want so if that matters to you click
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week alright when to have sex the first
step in understanding that answer is to
understand two dynamics in the
relationship number one there is a
sexual pace to your relationship and the
sexual pace is determined by how
physical you're getting with one another
starting with a hug or holding hands
moving to a kiss
moving to getting more physical more
intimate ultimately having sex making
love with one another the other dynamic
in a relationship is the emotional pace
of the relationship moving from just
being acquaintances with one another to
saying oh I want to date this person too
I want to be committed to this person to
I want to marry this person the
emotional pace of the relationship is
set by the level of commitment in the
relationship here's the key you never
want to let the sexual pace get out in
front of the emotional pace because when
you do that the relationship gets off
balance or it can because most people
will end up becoming
awkward when the sexual paste goes way
out in front in other words you sleep
together before you even know whether or
not you like each other it can throw the
relationship off balance and many of us
have had an experience where you let you
get physical too fast too soon and then
everybody gets awkward and it gets weird
yeah we're on the same page I mean I
don't I'm not looking for a relationship
right now either let's just say that I
just whatever you want I can do you know
I'd rather just like simple not like
other girls or anything unless you
really doesn't always happen but it can
happen and here's the key for you to
understand as a woman the sexual pace
and the emotional pace are completely
independent for men they are not
connected in other words having sex for
a man does not pull him along the
emotional scale it does not move his
emotional feelings forward they're
completely disconnected based on how our
brains are wired up your brain is wired
up very differently now you mean you
might be the one in a thousand where you
don't actually feel anything when you
have sex but most women when they have
sex they means they also feel something
emotionally it pulls you forward so the
key here is to let the emotional pace
drive the sexual pace and here's the
criteria consider what do you want for
yourself when it comes to a relationship
do you want to be married do you want
that level of commitment do you want to
be in a committed relationship or maybe
you're on the spectrum where you're in a
phase of your life where you're like
Matt I just want a warm body and a sexy
smile like that's it like I'm totally
down to just have fun and play right now
you are the highest authority of what
you would love and when you feel ready
to make love with a man you get to
decide that but decide that in advance
and only when the sexual pace of the
relationship meets the criteria you have
decided upon that's when you sleep with
him so some women go through my coaching
program they decide they want to wait
till they get married
other women are on the other end of the
spectrum they just want to have fun and
play and many women fall in the category
of no I want a committed relationship
before I'm willing to be intimate with
well here's the key no this men do not
fall in love by first having sex with
you so if what you're saying is you want
that committed relationship then that
means holding off on sex until you're in
a committed relationship with your man
now I know that might be hard I know
that both of you are hot-blooded and
want to get together but it's worth it
and don't buy into the fear that says if
you don't have sex with him early on he
is going to run off because it's true
the right man will wait until you're
ready and here's the good news is that
when he waits when you do finally reach
the point at which the relationship has
met the emotional pace that you want
that commitment level you want and you
to decide to be intimate with one
another my father always used to say sex
is really the celebration of the
intimacy in the commitment you've
already created with one another sex is
that celebration so when you finally do
become intimate a couple great dynamics
are created number one you've set a
beautiful standard for you being a high
value woman and what you want and when
he meets that standard now he feels
special and selected because he's
achieved something other men haven't
achieved so easily and he knows that he
is your man and sharing something
beautiful with you that's special just
between the two of you now I know what
some of you are thinking watching this
video you're thinking oh crap Matt I've
already slept with him we're not in a
committed relationship what do I do now
I want you to know that if you've
already slept with him it doesn't mean
that the relationship is going to go
sideways there's still hope for the
relationship the important thing to know
is that sleeping with him doesn't mean
that he's emotionally committed you want
to keep those two ideas separate in your
mind and you want to consider where is
he on the emotional scale of this
relationship and let him lead the
emotional pace you leave the sexual pace
let him leave the emotional pace and
you'll wind up in a really good spot the
other thought that comes up often is
this one will Matt what about all those
people who sleep together on the first
date and then they get married and it
works out yes that happens occasionally
as well just like occasionally there are
people who can eat junk food all day and
still stay ripped it's an anomaly right
it can happen but it doesn't happen for
us normal people right what I'm giving
you is a formula that you can use that
will set you up for success so keep the
emotional pace leading the relationship
and let sex be the celebration of the
emotional connection you've already
built and it will set you up for success
creating something amazing and special
with your man what I would love to hear
from you is when do you believe is the
right time to have sex go ahead and post
that in the comments section below it'll
be a great conversation thanks so much
for watching I'll see you soon
[Music]
